Walking out of Mass
A friend sent me this note a couple of weeks ago:
I had to share this with you guys, because it was rather bizarre, and I wondered if something like this has happened to either of you. I walked out on Mass for the first time in my life today.
Usually I go to brunch with the young adults/Integrity group after Mass at my home parish, but since it was canceled today, I decided to get some supplies from the gift shop at a nearby RC parish that I’m fond of, St. REDACTED. My little Anglo-Catholic heart was delighted to learn that I was just in time for Mass in the Extraordinary Form!
It was going fine until the sermon. The priest talked about the Holy Family for a bit, then how the institution of the family is being destroyed in these modern times, which is true. However he then proceeded to viciously castigate homosexuals – which he called perverts – for the blasphemy of same-sex marriage and the corruption of children. His tone was downright sinister – he sounded like Rush Limbaugh, with the cadence of a Baptist minister, spitting out the words. It may have been the tone of self-hatred. I don’t know.
If he had said something like, “This is what the Church teaches. I understand some people have difficulty with that, and we love them and only want them to understand. But we cannot and will not change our position.” – That would have been fine. This was something entirely different.
Anyway. I pray that he will find some peace, and that he doesn’t continue to drive people out. (It was a full house! Yay for Latin!)
After internally debating whether to stay and speak with Father, or leave, I stood up and walked out. Several others followed in silence.
I told my friend that he should report the incident immediately to the local 
RC Bishop. (He declined to do so, saying that the man is intimidating and that he wouldn’t do anything. He’s right, of course, on both counts, but I still think it should be recorded somewhere officially.)
So my question to you, dear reader, is how would you have handled the situation, both during the Mass and afterward?
I suppose it should be said that this particular instance can be used as a springboard for a larger discussion: what should our response be if anything like this happens during a Mass? One may very often hear “liturgical purists” writing to Bishops about an “abuse,” or “conservatives” writing to Bishops because of “bad theology.” So, is what is good for the goose also good for the gander?
Pax et bonum.
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I think out of respect for God, whose house it is, I would not have walked out of church during Mass. However the issue does need to be addressed. It doesn’t sound like one would get anywhere talking with this person one-on-one. If there is a serious problem, I feel it is appropriate to let the bishop know about it. Your friend says that several others walked out, too. A bishop might ignore one complaint, thinking someone is being too sensitive. But he’s likely to hear about about something like this more than once.
There have been two occasions when I have been in a parish where a priest was doing and saying inappropriate things (I wasn’t directly involved and it wasn’t sexual misconduct or anything related to that). I believe the priests in question had some mental health issues; one has to be compassionate about that; but in the end the bishop had to remove them from parish work. Hopefully they got some help, they needed it.
It was the actions of a priest like the one discribed in this event that has formed by whole life and ministry. The Roman parish I was a member was run by a priest who over the 20 odd years had stole money and destroyed this Polish church. At midnight Massmy junior year in HS he swore, used racist terms towards blacks and hispanics and did actions which were so offense I couldnt deal with it. A young woman and her children walked out and the priest from the pulpit called to her “You bitch sit down!” I wanted to walk out myself but my parents had to force me to sit down. I did write a letter to the bishop of Pittsburgh at the time and so did many others, but nothing happened and he stayed til his death a few years latter. That moment allowed me to search for a “healthier church”. I am now an Episcopal priest and have run into the former RC bishop a couple times. I wonder where I would be if actions were taken. Such hatred and behavior have NO place in the church and such individuals need to be removed for office.
For what it’s worth, your friend probably wouldn’t have to even speak with the bishop…if his bishop’s office is anything like most cities, it would be a staff person he’d hear back from (if at all.) I think complaining does something…if nothing else it’s speaking out when there’s a wrong that needs to be addressed. The Church may be infallible, but the people in it certainly aren’t.
Melody, I take well your point about God’s house. I wonder if, depending on the situation, it might be better to walk out precisely because it is God’s house? I don’t know, I’m just thinking aloud.
Michael, that is hideous, and I’m sorry you had to deal with that. However, I’m very thankful that you’re a priest, in spite of it all. And you’re right- that kind of behavior has absolutely no place in the Church.
Jen, you’re right. I’m sure he wouldn’t get to speak with the Bishop himself. And I’m glad you made your last point about the Church being infallible but not Christians- that’s something I try to get across to people, and sometimes it’s incomprehensible to them.
I honestly don’t know what I would do in that specific situation – made more complex because it was not your friend’s home parish. I would be reluctant to walk out, because the Mass is much more than just a homily. I would also not be too confident in the value of writing a bishop – this priest is really just saying, although perhaps a little more crudely, what the institutional church, and American bishops on gay marriage, have been saying all along. Writing to the bishop is just a gesture – but gestures can be useful too. I hope I would have the confidence to speak to the man directly after Mass – but possibly I would not.
More importantly, we need to find ways to speak up across a much wider front about the evils and errors in the public declarations of the institutional church that encourage some priests and others to spout this kind of drivel, in the mistaken belief that they are promoting the Gospels and the Lord’s Kingdom. They are not.
I would walk out during a sermon like that. I’ve not walked out of a sermon although I have left a Mass a couple of times at the start because I just didn’t like the priest. And I once walked out of a Good Friday service around the time of the invasion of Iraq because we were asked to start it by joining in a Native American dance for peace. This is down here in Australia, mind, and there were no Native Americans in that congregation. I couldn’t stomach the appropriation no matter the intentions.
Your friend was right to walk out. The Eucharist is a profound ritual that brings healing, reconcilation and community. To preach a sermon like that is a kind of sacrilege. As for the priest that Michael describes, well abuse sacrilege blasphemy all spring to mind. I’m surprised the whole congregation didn’t walk out. THat they didn’t testifies to how bad the culture of clericalism has been in the Church.
BTW I really like your blog
I had a similiar experience once. I didn’t walk out. I happened to have part of the Sunday paper with me to read during the rest of the sermon and when the time for the collection came around, I lightly touched the Dominican Frair/Usher on the wrist to get his attention and very clearly told him that I really cannot in good conscience give anything considering the sermon that was just preached.
I figured the ball would be in their court when I went to Communion.
In instances such as the one described, I think it is worth remembering that God calls us to be faithful, not effective. No matter how unlikely one is to receive a response from a Bishop or his office staff, or how unlikely it seems that our voice will be unheard, we need to speak up. If we don’t, something inside of us dies little by little. Besides, the only way the world ever truly changes for the good is by small acts of faithfulness.
That said, the thing that causes me the most discomfort at Divine Liturgy (I’m Byzantine Catholic) is when patriotic elements are introduced into the service. This usually takes the form of singing some American hymns at the end of the service; I’ve never seen anything so atrocious as a flag near the altar – I think We Byzantines are too liturgically sensitive for anything like that. At our parish, this is not so much due to the influence of the priest as it is to the influence of older members of the parish. I haven’t ever walked out during these moments; I just sit down and don’t participate. I have written to my priest to express my concerns about this issue and he responded kindly and also mentioned to the whole church (on July 4th) that we are to strive to be a peaceful people and that we can’t see America as superior than other nations, so I am glad I spoke up.
This has bothered me since I read it yesterday. I find it very disturbing. I’m especially ashamed that many of my posts have come off the same way as the priest’s homily. My apologies and prayers.
I have made it a point to not go to mass on the Feast of the Holy Family. It seems like the Feast Day itself has been appropriated by priests who really think that they have the right to use the pulpit to grind axes. I have heard single parents attacked and more frequently I have heard LGBT people attacked from the pulpit on this feast. I have found it easier to avoid attending mass on that day all together.
What is unfortunate is I suspect the vast majority of bishops agree with the sentiment of these hater preists and any letter will fall on deaf ears.
I have never walked out during Mass. I have left furious, on one occasion before it started, which was unfortunately on Christmas eve, my last as a Byzantine Catholic. It’s a long story, but it brought me to where I am today.
Would I have said something to this priest afterwards? Doubtful. I have heard sermons on this subject before, but couch in gentler terms. More on the scientific “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” side of the argument. It’s not worth the fight when that’s what you have to respond to. Especially if you have just received the Eucharist.
Had I heard this particular sermon, especially at the point where I am now in my life, I probably would have got up and left. Interesting though that it was preached at a celebration of the old Mass.
I have had the occasion to leave mass when faced with something I could not accept hearing. I went to the nearest parish for the next mass.
I just want to apologize to all of you for this most egregious abuse of the Mass and of the homily.
I realize the hurt and alienation this kind of language and attitude can have, furthering a rupture in the communion many have with the Church.
For whatever reason, and there is no excuse here, this priest is not in a “good way” to be talking like this from the pulpit. He needs prayers. Not excuses or “cover-ups”, but prayers.
Whether or not it will do any good to go to the local bishop, maybe the first step is to speak to the dean of the area, another trusted priest, the vicar for priests, or some priest that may have some kind of influence.
He needs correction.
The use of the word “perverts” is not going to edify or convert anyone. And it abusive. There are ways of speaking of the moral teachings of the Church without becoming polemic or downright crude, abusive and alienating. Christ came for sinners; we are all in that camp.
Our Holy Father does not talk like this. Neither do any reliable and sound bishops.
I’m so sorry this happened.
My prayers and blessing.
Terence, sadly agreed.
Michael, I agree- it is a sacrilege. And thanks for the compliment!
Kurt, the newspaper story is great. Did they friar say anything?
Tim, your right about faithfulness. And I didn’t know you were Byzantine. Very cool.
Terry, we all do things of which we ought to be ashamed, myself especially included.
Kevin, I seem to have had good fortune so far on the Feast of the Holy Family. God-willing, that good luck will continue.
John, I thought it interesting, as well, that the context was an EF Mass.
Davis, that sounds like a very good solution.
Nazareth, it’s nothing that you had anything to do with, and nothing for which you need to apologize. Peace to you.
And FWIW, I’ve never walked out of a Mass.
“Kurt, the newspaper story is great. Did they friar say anything?”
Bug-eyes like you would not believe!!!
Wow. My pastor, who knows I am gay and whom I dearly love, once commented in a Sunday homily on how the Canadian government undermined traditional marriage by passing a law recognizing gay marriage. I sent him an e-mail politely informing him of my disagreement with his view and with that of the Church. I did not really get a response from him. I am not out to anyone in my church besides the priests but if I were ever to witness a performance like the one your friend describes, I would in all conscience have to walk out. Easy to say, of course….
Thank you, Thom for linking to my site and for your comments.
Of course, Ross. Keep writing!
I would have walked out and would have written the bishop a letter and sent a copy of the letter to the local press to be published as a letter to the editor, also urging others to do likewise. This would get the attention of the ordinary.
Ray, you’re right.. that would have got somebody’s attention!